All's Well That Ends Well: Act 4, Scene 3 Translation

Enter the two French Lords and some two
or three Soldiers.

FIRST LORD You have not given him his mother’s
letter?

SECOND LORD I have delivered it an hour since. There
is something in ’t that stings his nature, for on the
reading it he changed almost into another man. 5

FIRST LORD He has much worthy blame laid upon him
for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.

SECOND LORD Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the King, who had even tuned
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you 10
a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.

FIRST LORD When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I
am the grave of it.

SECOND LORD He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
here in Florence of a most chaste renown, 15
and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honor. He hath given her his monumental ring and
thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.

FIRST LORD Now God delay our rebellion! As we are
ourselves, what things are we! 20

SECOND LORD Merely our own traitors. And, as in the
common course of all treasons we still see them
reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred
ends, so he that in this action contrives against his
own nobility, in his proper stream o’erflows 25
himself.

FIRST LORD Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters
of our unlawful intents? We shall not, then,
have his company tonight?

SECOND LORD Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to 30
his hour.

FIRST LORD That approaches apace. I would gladly
have him see his company anatomized, that he
might take a measure of his own judgments
wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit. 35

SECOND LORD We will not meddle with him till he
come, for his presence must be the whip of the
other.

FIRST LORD In the meantime, what hear you of these
wars? 40

SECOND LORD I hear there is an overture of peace.

FIRST LORD Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.

SECOND LORD What will Count Rossillion do then?
Will he travel higher or return again into France?

FIRST LORD I perceive by this demand you are not altogether 45
of his counsel.

SECOND LORD Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a
great deal of his act.

FIRST LORD Sir, his wife some two months since fled
from his house. Her pretense is a pilgrimage to 50
Saint Jaques le Grand, which holy undertaking
with most austere sanctimony she accomplished.
And, there residing, the tenderness of her nature
became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven. 55

SECOND LORD How is this justified?

FIRST LORD The stronger part of it by her own letters,
which makes her story true even to the point of her
death. Her death itself, which could not be her
office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by 60
the rector of the place.

SECOND LORD Hath the Count all this intelligence?

FIRST LORD Ay, and the particular confirmations, point
from point, to the full arming of the verity.

SECOND LORD I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of 65
this.

FIRST LORD How mightily sometimes we make us
comforts of our losses.

SECOND LORD And how mightily some other times we
drown our gain in tears. The great dignity that his 70
valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.

FIRST LORD The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,
good and ill together. Our virtues would be proud
if our faults whipped them not, and our crimes 75
would despair if they were not cherished by our
virtues.

Enter a Servant.

How now? Where’s your master?

SERVANT He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom
he hath taken a solemn leave. His Lordship will 80
next morning for France. The Duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the King.

SECOND LORD They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness. 85

Enter Bertram Count Rossillion.

Here’s his Lordship now.—How now, my lord? Is ’t
not after midnight?

BERTRAM I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses,
a month’s length apiece. By an abstract of
success: I have congeed with the Duke, done my 90
adieu with his nearest, buried a wife, mourned for
her, writ to my lady mother I am returning, entertained
my convoy, and between these main parcels
of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last
was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet. 95

SECOND LORD If the business be of any difficulty, and
this morning your departure hence, it requires
haste of your Lordship.

BERTRAM I mean the business is not ended as fearing
to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue 100
between the Fool and the Soldier? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module; has deceived
me like a double-meaning prophesier.

SECOND LORD Bring him forth. Has sat i’ th’ stocks all
night, poor gallant knave. Soldiers exit. 105

BERTRAM No matter. His heels have deserved it in
usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry
himself?

SECOND LORD I have told your Lordship already: the
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would 110
be understood: he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk. He hath confessed himself to Morgan,
whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of
his setting i’ th’ stocks. And what think you he hath 115
confessed?

BERTRAM Nothing of me, has he?

SECOND LORD His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face. If your Lordship be in ’t, as I
believe you are, you must have the patience to 120
hear it.

Enter Parolles, blindfolded, with his Interpreter,
the First Soldier.

BERTRAM A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say
nothing of me.

FIRST LORD, aside to Bertram Hush, hush. Hoodman
comes.—Portotartarossa. 125

FIRST SOLDIER, to Parolles He calls for the tortures.
What will you say without ’em?

PAROLLES I will confess what I know without constraint.
If you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no
more. 130

FIRST SOLDIER Bosko Chimurcho.

FIRST LORD Boblibindo chicurmurco.

FIRST SOLDIER You are a merciful general.—Our general
bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a
note. 135

PAROLLES And truly, as I hope to live.

FIRST SOLDIER, as if reading a note "First, demand of
him how many horse the Duke is strong."—What say
you to that?

PAROLLES Five or six thousand, but very weak and 140
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
and credit, and as I hope to live.

FIRST SOLDIER Shall I set down your answer so?

PAROLLES Do. I’ll take the Sacrament on ’t, how and 145
which way you will.

BERTRAM, aside All’s one to him. What a past-saving
slave is this!

FIRST LORD, aside to Bertram You’re deceived, my
lord. This is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant 150
militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and
the practice in the chape of his dagger.

SECOND LORD, aside I will never trust a man again for
keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have 155
everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly.

FIRST SOLDIER, to Parolles Well, that’s set down.

PAROLLES “Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will
say true—“or thereabouts” set down, for I’ll speak
truth. 160

FIRST LORD, aside He’s very near the truth in this.

BERTRAM, aside But I con him no thanks for ’t, in the
nature he delivers it.

PAROLLES “Poor rogues,” I pray you say.

FIRST SOLDIER Well, that’s set down. 165

PAROLLES I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth.
The rogues are marvelous poor.

FIRST SOLDIER, as if reading a note "Demand of him of
what strength they are o’ foot."—What say you to
that? 170

PAROLLES By my troth, sir, if I were to live but this
present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus
so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine 175
own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten
and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen
thousand poll, half of the which dare not shake the
snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves 180
to pieces.

BERTRAM, aside What shall be done to him?

FIRST LORD, aside Nothing but let him have thanks.
(Aside to First Soldier.) Demand of him my condition
and what credit I have with the Duke. 185

FIRST SOLDIER, to Parolles Well, that’s set down. Pretending
to read: "You shall demand of him whether
one Captain Dumaine be i’ th’ camp, a Frenchman;
what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valor,
honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he 190
thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums
of gold to corrupt him to a revolt."—What say you to
this? What do you know of it?

PAROLLES I beseech you let me answer to the particular
of the inter’gatories. Demand them singly. 195

FIRST SOLDIER Do you know this Captain Dumaine?

PAROLLES I know him. He was a botcher’s prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the
shrieve’s fool with child, a dumb innocent that
could not say him nay. 200

BERTRAM, aside to First Lord Nay, by your leave, hold
your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.

FIRST SOLDIER Well, is this captain in the Duke of
Florence’s camp? 205

PAROLLES Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.

FIRST LORD, aside to Bertram Nay, look not so upon
me. We shall hear of your Lordship anon.

FIRST SOLDIER What is his reputation with the Duke?

PAROLLES The Duke knows him for no other but a 210
poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day
to turn him out o’ th’ band. I think I have his letter
in my pocket.

FIRST SOLDIER Marry, we’ll search.

They search Parolles’ pockets.

PAROLLES In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is 215
there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters
in my tent.

FIRST SOLDIER Here ’tis; here’s a paper. Shall I read it to
you?

PAROLLES I do not know if it be it or no. 220

BERTRAM, aside Our interpreter does it well.

FIRST LORD, aside Excellently.

FIRST SOLDIER reads "Dian, the Count’s a fool and full
of gold—"

PAROLLES That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an 225
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rossillion, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.

FIRST SOLDIER Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor. 230

PAROLLES My meaning in ’t, I protest, was very honest
in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it
finds. 235

BERTRAM, aside Damnable both-sides rogue!

FIRST SOLDIER reads
"When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and
take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score.
Half won is match well made. Match, and well 240
make it.
He ne’er pays after-debts. Take it before.
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
Men are to mell with; boys are not to kiss.
For count of this: the Count’s a fool, I know it, 245
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
Parolles."

BERTRAM, aside He shall be whipped through the
army with this rhyme in ’s forehead. 250

SECOND LORD, aside This is your devoted friend, sir,
the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.

BERTRAM, aside I could endure anything before but a
cat, and now he’s a cat to me.

FIRST SOLDIER, to Parolles I perceive, sir, by our 255
general’s looks we shall be fain to hang you.

PAROLLES My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid
to die, but that, my offenses being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live,
sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I 260
may live.

FIRST SOLDIER We’ll see what may be done, so you confess
freely. Therefore once more to this Captain
Dumaine: you have answered to his reputation
with the Duke, and to his valor. What is his 265
honesty?

PAROLLES He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For
rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes not keeping of oaths. In breaking ’em he
is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such 270
volubility that you would think truth were a fool.
Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm,
save to his bedclothes about him; but they know
his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but 275
little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything
that an honest man should not have; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.

FIRST LORD, aside I begin to love him for this.

BERTRAM, aside For this description of thine honesty? 280
A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more
a cat.

FIRST SOLDIER What say you to his expertness in war?

PAROLLES Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English
tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more 285
of his soldiership I know not, except in that country
he had the honor to be the officer at a place
there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling
of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
of this I am not certain. 290

FIRST LORD, aside He hath out-villained villainy so
far that the rarity redeems him.

BERTRAM, aside A pox on him! He’s a cat still.

FIRST SOLDIER His qualities being at this poor price,
I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to 295
revolt.

PAROLLES Sir, for a cardecu he will sell the fee-simple
of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’
entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession
for it perpetually. 300

FIRST SOLDIER What’s his brother, the other Captain
Dumaine?

SECOND LORD, aside Why does he ask him of me?

FIRST SOLDIER What’s he?

PAROLLES E’en a crow o’ th’ same nest: not altogether 305
so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet
his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a
retreat he outruns any lackey. Marry, in coming on
he has the cramp. 310

FIRST SOLDIER If your life be saved, will you undertake
to betray the Florentine?

PAROLLES Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count
Rossillion.

FIRST SOLDIER I’ll whisper with the General and know 315
his pleasure.

PAROLLES, aside I’ll no more drumming. A plague of
all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the supposition of that lascivious young
boy the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who 320
would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?

FIRST SOLDIER There is no remedy, sir, but you must
die. The General says you that have so traitorously
discovered the secrets of your army and made 325
such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held
can serve the world for no honest use. Therefore
you must die.—Come, headsman, off with his
head.

PAROLLES O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my 330
death!

FIRST SOLDIER That shall you, and take your leave of
all your friends. He removes the blindfold. So,
look about you. Know you any here?

BERTRAM Good morrow, noble captain. 335

SECOND LORD God bless you, Captain Parolles.

FIRST LORD God save you, noble captain.

SECOND LORD Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafew? I am for France.

FIRST LORD Good captain, will you give me a copy of 340
the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count
Rossillion? An I were not a very coward, I’d compel
it of you. But fare you well.

Bertram and Lords exit.

FIRST SOLDIER You are undone, captain—all but your
scarf; that has a knot on ’t yet. 345

PAROLLES Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

FIRST SOLDIER If you could find out a country where
but women were that had received so much
shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
you well, sir. I am for France too. We shall speak of 350
you there.

He exits.

PAROLLES
Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am 355
Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
Rust, sword; cool, blushes; and Parolles live
Safest in shame. Being fooled, by fool’ry thrive. 360
There’s place and means for every man alive.
I’ll after them.

He exits.