- It's spring at Waindell College. While you would expect people to be happy about that, the Clements, whom we're meeting for the first time, are missing their daughter Isabel. She's just gotten married, and they hardly know anything about their in-laws.
- When we meet the Clements they are arguing over the guests coming to dinner. The yelling is interrupted by a phone call from somebody with pretty terrible English. We bet you can guess who it is.
- It's Pnin, and he wants to know about the room they have for rent. Our protagonist arrives half an hour later, sits himself down, and tells them his entire life story. You know, the way you always do to strangers.
- Anyway, he gets the room and starts to make himself at home immediately. Meanwhile, the Clements are having a party and they invite Pnin. He says no thanks, but when there's confusion about a cup in the bathroom (we're always confused by those, too) he ends up joining everyone else downstairs. How nice!
- The next day, Pnin gets all of his teeth removed. Yeah, they must be pretty rotten. He's in pretty good spirits while the anesthesia is still effective, but by the time it wears off the pain is incredible. Not only that, but it's just weird. He was used to having teeth in his mouth, and all that's left are his sore gums.
- But somehow, after 10 days and the pain wearing off, everything changes. Pnin loves his new dentures and sees them as some kind of pristine symbol of America. Hey, whatever floats your boat. He even tries to convince Lawrence Clements to get his teeth taken out too.
- Even though Pnin is a pretty terrible lodger (wouldn't you have doubts about someone who tried to convince you to take your teeth out?), the Clements seem to like him. Lawrence even strikes up some kind of scholarly friendship with this silly Russian who likes to put muddy shoes in his wife's washing machine.
- The two of them start to create an encyclopedia of Russian nonverbal communication, and even end up recording it on film. They show it to some students who only seem to notice that Pnin kind of looks like Buddha. Not that they're about to worship him or anything.
- There is one girl in particular, Betty Bliss, who seems to have more than a teacher-student relationship with our professor Pnin. He imagines her as his wife, and even reads her poetry, but nothing can happen between them.
- Not because that's immoral, but because he's still in love with someone. His first wife, Dr. Liza Wind.
- When they met in 1925, Pnin was a young scholar and Liza was a medical student working in a sanatorium. They got married, but that didn't stop her from flirting with basically every guy around. As usual, our poor Pnin was totally clueless.
- His blushing bride ends up running away with a guy called Eric Wind. They make plans to head to America to start their new life together and leave Pnin all on his own. Lucky for him, he has his own traveling to take his mind off the situation.
- But guess what? A few months later Liza storms back into Pnin's apartment and claims that the whole thing was a mistake. She's seven months pregnant (which means she's been cheating for three months before leaving Pnin, by the way) and getting ready to make her way to America. A little weird, but Pnin's not complaining.
- Then everything goes wrong. One night on the boat to America, Pnin gets involved in a strange chess game. He's playing with a German when someone else comes along and starts commenting on the game.
- When Pnin loses (predictably), the commentator reveals himself. It's Dr. Eric Wind. The whole thing is a sham. And he's going to marry Liza once they get to America.
- Pnin is devastated. But everything goes just as the future Mr. and Mrs. Wind planned. Lucky for them, we guess. After that, Pnin rarely saw or heard from Liza.
- Well, except for her weird psychological experiments that involved women talking about their "marital problems."
- But back to the actual time of the novel. Flashback officially over. So he's reading her letter. In it, Liza says she's coming to see him. Pnin is so happy you'd think he was going on a first date, but we can't help wondering what Liza wants. She doesn't sound like the greatest of former wives.
- Instead of finding out right away, we get to listen to her blather on about herself and insult Pnin. We know he's kind of weird, but somehow it hurts to hear her say what we already know.
- Finally, she comes out with it. Liza wants money from Pnin to send to her son, Victor. Again, our absent-minded professor is devastated.
- A while later, Joan Clements comes home. She finds Pnin in a heap on the floor, bawling his eyes out and looking for whiskey and soda. Not exactly a pretty picture.
- She tries to cheer him up by showing him a funny advertisement, but it's not working. Pnin isn't playing along with her game, and he ends up a sobbing mess. Nice of her to try, at least.
- Meanwhile, Joan (also called John, in Pnin's funny accent) has received a letter from her daughter talking about how awesome her new marriage is. But all she can think is, why won't she come home for a visit? Geez, there's newlyweds for you.